He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
so much tequila, so little girl.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize