David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
