Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just cropdusted the office
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
