her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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