not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
whose parrot is this?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Randomize
