I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
