the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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