there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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