If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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