His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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