i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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