There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
