Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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