I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize