You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
