dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
