DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
