had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
