one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I could fuck to npr.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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