in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
