i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think a kid would responsible me up
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
