So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
