quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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