ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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