Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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