Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
