that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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