there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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