You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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