i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
