would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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