But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
