There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
