My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize