Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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