just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
