if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
