none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
