member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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