you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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