i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
