I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
