woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
