Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
