I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize