have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
