can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize