He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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