i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
my poor anus
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
