You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
