i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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