Sponge bath it is.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
