yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize