Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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