Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job

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(305): View more from Florida

alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.

Fav 15 1428 3490
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(985): View more from Louisiana

Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write

Fav 48 9346 1296
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.

Fav 1 988 1370
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

Fav 7 1052 2910
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.

Fav 3 1738 1049
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(463): View more from

I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.

Fav 8 921 622
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(775): View more from Nevada

he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl

(330): View more from Ohio

awwwww babys first drunken mistake

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