you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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