It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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