going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't deserve a penis
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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