ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
