I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
