That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
