I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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