4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
