i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize