you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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