so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
