Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
