Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize