Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
